It's time I let out how pathetic I am at being an adult. All my life's accomplishments and glories are marred by my total, utter, absolute failure in accomplishing the longest standing life goal: respond to alarm by waking up!

Every night, for the past, howmanyever years, without fail this is what I tell myself: Suchana, tomorrow you must get out of bed when the alarm rings. Not roll over, not snooze...GET UP!

The scene next morning is pretty exact to this video. Minus the gun.



I don't think I will ever feel like an adult until I nail this herculean task. But I shan't give up. Over the years there are a few, ahem,  radical practices I have employed to get out of bed. I won't judge you, if you are judging me.

TV IS THE BEST ALARM
Caution: this might make you hate your TV a lot! But this is the best alarm clock I have ever had. Set the TV on VH1 or CNBC and put it on sleep timer. It's highly impossible to go back to sleep once you wake up to the loud, chaotic world of news or pumping music
HIDE AND SEEK IN THE AM
By far the most theatrical approach...Set alarm on a clock (not phone) and keep it far far away. Make sure its shrill and annoying as f*^#. If you have an attached bath, keep the lovely clock right next to the toothbrush stand. If not, the kitchen is a good place. I have done both and I can attest that it works to piss you off so much that you won't go back for a snooze.

SOCIAL MEDIA TO MY RESCUE
It happened one morning by accident and I got hooked! One morning, after hitting the snooze button, I happened to check the Instagram alerts I had received over night and next thing I knew I was wide awake. So now, when the alarm goes off, instead of snooze, I hit Pinterest or Bloglovin for some inspiration to get the brain humming. Don't Facebook though. It'll put you right back to sleep.

A lot of articles talk about staying away from technology in the AM for a Zen like day.
All I wanna say to is...


No offense, but some people have a problem with mornings, period. And a girl's gotta do what she's gotta do, right? To me, Zen mornings are an urban myth.

GET HELP
You know what's more annoying than blasting TV? A ringing doorbell. OMFG! Over the years I have requested my newspaper man to ring the bell HARD every morning, I have schedule the housekeeper's visit precisely at 7AM, I schedule grocery delivery first thing in the morning, and I once employed a trainer to show up sharp at 6.30...anything that gets me out of bed and keeps me out

DANGLE A CARROT
I vividly remember jumping out of bed one dark rainy morning because I had bought tri-coloured peppers and I wanted to make an omelette for breakfast. I swear! So if there is anything you like almost as much as sleep, it might work to motivate you out of bed.

Now, as it happens, I chose to work from home this Monday AM, sou can guess which of the above methods I adopted.

Happy Monday!